July 21, 2011

.Our Birth Story.

My due date came and went.  My doctor said that my body was showing no movement forward and that I would not be able to be induced until Wednesday, June 22nd.  Also adding to my comfort about labor and delivery?  My doctor also disclosed to me the week before that he would be out of town the entire week of my due date.  Wonderful.

Friday, June 17th started off a different day.  When I woke up that morning, I was pretty sure my water broke.  Without getting graphic, let's just say it's not like it is in the movies.  I called my doctor's office and was told to come in for an exam to confirm my suspicions.  My mother and I were pretty sure they were going to send me home, so we had plans to go out for breakfast after the appointment.  All we ended up doing after the doctor's office was go straight to the hospital because I was in labor.

Fast forward a few short hours of admittance into labor and delivery, signing way too many papers, being hooked up to machines and fetal monitors, and I was comfortable in my room reading my book, just waiting for the ball to get rolling.  I felt it was going to go smoothly because I wasn't even feeling my contractions at that point.  Then, my fill-in doctor came in.  Dylan's heart rate had slowed considerably and they were moving toward an emergency C-section in fears that in this continuining, she would lose oxygen to her brain.  That's when time slowed, and I had to remember to calm my panicked heart, for Dylan's sake.  Obviously, an unplanned C-section wasn't ideal.  Add that G was still at work because I told him to "finish up, this will take hours."  The doctor chose to give me some sugar water and wait a half hour to ensure that baby wasn't just in the middle of a sleep cycle before proceeding with surgery. 

After some time, her heart rate returned to normal and we were back to the original plan of a natural delivery.  G was at the hospital at this point and I sent him home to grab a few things I'd forgotten to pack in my haste that morning.  Right after lunch, her heart rate slowed again.  As I was only dilated 2 cm and labor was moving very slowly, the doctor made the decision not to take the chance and get Dylan out immediately.  They quickly began to prep me for surgery and put on my oxygen mask and I tried to stall as G was still at home getting our things!  Suffice it to say, after many panicked phone calls, G's speeding to the hospital again, and running up to the room out of breath, he made it in the nick of time as they rushed me to the OR. 

I've never had any medical interventions, broken bones, or time in hospitals period.  The next twenty minutes were the scariest of my life.  They separated G and I as they prepped me and started anesthesia.  Instantly, I felt a warmth in my legs and felt my bottom half go numb.  I could still feel everything, but not the pain; it was alot of pulling and tugging.  When G was allowed in the room I was beyond relieved.  It was quick and very clinical.  It's a strange experience, knowing that 15 people are in the room trying to get your child here safely and you're just laying on a table, pretty much useless at this point except to be the shell.  I felt helpless and completely out of control.  The only control I had was to remain calm and pray to find comfort.  G and the anesthesiologist narrated what was going on, and soon after a nurse put what I felt as heavy pressure on my belly and I heard the sweetest sound in the world... Dylan crying.  That's when I cried.  I cried that after 40 long weeks of worry, she was here.  I cried that now it was truly beginning.  I cried that I couldn't protect her from whatever complication was causing us to have to be in that OR.  I cried in gratitude of the hospital staff for taking such good care of us.

The worst part of the C section hasn't been the long recovery, or the scar.  It was that seemingly endless time from when she was born, to when I was finally able to hold her.  Yes, I was able to give her a quick peck before they shuttled her off... but I was forced to remain in recovery for an hour before I was taken back to my room to "meet" her.  It was the longest hour of my life.  My comfort was having G and my mother come see me in recovery and give me the report of how Dylan was doing in the nursery.  That's when I learned that the cause of her heart rate going down was that her umbilical cord was wrapped around her. Ultimately the doctor made the best decision under pressure as I would have almost surely had to have a C-section even after hours of labor.  I will be forever grateful for his quick and efficient decision-making.

When I was finally in my room, surrounded by family, and the nurse handed Dylan to me, all I could think was, "I can't believe you are ours."  We've been waiting for ours for some time, and finally we were meeting her.  I was finally able to stare at those little feet that have been kicking me for months.  I was finally able to see her face, and determine what parts of me and what parts of G she possessed.  I was finally able to hold her and know she was safe in my arms.

Much after that is a blur of friends visiting and calls to family as I was on heavy painkillers, but all I know is that I ended that day in the hospital bed next to G, with Dylan Grace in our arms, deliriously happy.  That's when G surprised me with my push present... a beautiful solitaire diamond necklace that I will one day pass down to Dylan and relive this story and the meaning behind the gift.  It was one of those days where you look up, close your eyes, and ask God how you ever deserved to be so blessed, but thank you, thank you, thank you for allowing it and I promise I won't take it for granted... ever.


Elizabeth L said...

Beautiful birth story! Congratulations on your beautiful girl!

sarah - dodeline design said...

Wow, I had no idea it was quite so scary for you! What a trying experience, but I am so so happy that all went well!