So essentially my days have been looking something like: wake, work-work-work manically on the dissertation, break for family time, work-work-work panically, maybe a tiny break to spend time with G, work-work-work resentfully, then sleep and do-over the next day. I have my job and a class to teach also somewhere in there too. But when it's play time, I do try to put all my energy and focus into that because I'll never get this time back with these two even after graduation.
Dylan's toddler-energy knows no bounds lately, and being nearly 8 months pregnant at this point, my body struggles to keep up. But Dylan has also been more demanding of mama's time recently, refusing to nap or sleep on her own until I sit down for a minute and just hold her. And although I feel frenzy because of the tight deadlines the next several weeks bring, I'm also grateful that this little girl knows when enough is enough and that I just need to stop and be with her. Because no matter the degrees or career I end up having, I know I want these two (soon-to-be three) still with me along the way, self-assured in their significance in my life.
But thankfully, the end does seem to be near. The entire body of work will get submitted today and goes to several for approval, and then, the defense. After, I get to go back to focusing on being intentional with this life, instead of persevering these current days. And despite the stress I feel, I have several people close in my life who are battling much more trying days, and I have to laugh at myself for the absurdity of my complaints.
What an opportunity and a challenge.