.Our dessert party.

 Since we're having a darling little girl just two years younger than her sister, we decided to throw a dessert party en lieu of another baby shower.  Hosting our friends and family at the yogurt shoppe was stress-free and fun as we indulged in cake, frozen yogurt, cheesecake, fresh fruit, candy, and a paint station (which only the most adventurous dared try!).

What a fine way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

P.S. Hello 33 weeks!

P.P.S. Happy birthday brother!!

.the immediate horizon.

A few shots of some recent fun we've been having.  After a quick trip to Tennessee, we have important things on the immediate horizon like...

... a dessert party to celebrate littlest baby girl's very-soon arrival (like 6 weeks people!)

... my defense is next week!  Fits of crying and laughter ensue when I think too long about this.

... my little brother turns 21.  When did he grow up?

Pending good results next week, I'll be channeling my focus into mama-mode and really soaking up the quality time with my little family of three.  We have a lot to do before June!  And then there's lots of birthdays to be had (remember this one and this one?)!

.Life.

So essentially my days have been looking something like: wake, work-work-work manically on the dissertation, break for family time, work-work-work panically, maybe a tiny break to spend time with G, work-work-work resentfully, then sleep and do-over the next day.  I have my job and a class to teach also somewhere in there too.  But when it's play time, I do try to put all my energy and focus into that because I'll never get this time back with these two even after graduation.  

Dylan's toddler-energy knows no bounds lately, and being nearly 8 months pregnant at this point, my body struggles to keep up.  But Dylan has also been more demanding of mama's time recently, refusing to nap or sleep on her own until I sit down for a minute and just hold her.  And although I feel frenzy because of the tight deadlines the next several weeks bring, I'm also grateful that this little girl knows when enough is enough and that I just need to stop and be with her.  Because no matter the degrees or career I end up having, I know I want these two (soon-to-be three) still with me along the way, self-assured in their significance in my life.

But thankfully, the end does seem to be near.  The entire body of work will get submitted today and goes to several for approval, and then, the defense.  After, I get to go back to focusing on being intentional with this life, instead of persevering these current days.  And despite the stress I feel, I have several people close in my life who are battling much more trying days, and I have to laugh at myself for the absurdity of my complaints.

Life.

What an opportunity and a challenge.

.Wise professors.

A wise professor once told us in class, "Part of my time is mine to keep, and I don't have to explain it.  I can only help if I'm healthy."

I'm working on balancing that.  The taking and giving.  It's a tricky scale.  But I'm learning that if I'm not taking care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually in order to do for others, I provide no real relief.   So I will try to replay the words of this intelligent and dear professor over and over until they stick, that we are all allowed to have that pause to rest without feelings of failing others, because if not, we (I) really end up failing us all.

Part of our time is ours to keep, and we don't have to explain it.

.Our first home.

Look at that beauty!

Our first home as a family, illustrated by the talented Rebekka Seale.   I've been an admirer of Rebekka's beautiful work for a long time, and jumped at the chance to have a house portrait done of our sweet home.  Rebekka is gracious and creative, and has the most beautiful home in Tennessee herself!

I'm sure I'll find myself with more of her art in the future, and I highly recommend you check her out yourself.  I know this painting will have a special place in our future homes for years and years to come.  Our first home where both our babies were (will be) born, details like the fence that Garrett built in our first year here, the front yard where Dylan has experienced so much play, the memories inside this place through the seasons. 

Thank you again Rebekka!

.Married to an older man.

Today is Garrett's 27th birthday!

For his birthday, we got awesome bikes!!  Yes, we ;)  Thanks for being a great sport G.  I look forward to the hours I'll spend by your side riding, enjoying the scenery, and finding adventure with our little family.  

As we get older,  he tries to make his birthday less and less of a big deal.  But a day that celebrates the existence of my very best friend is no small thing.  So we'll make it a multi-day event full of spring-time bike rides, a celebratory meal, and a cookie cake to complete, requested from the birthday boy himself.

A lot of the time, life is hard.  

But I love this simple life with you.

P.S. Garrett's 25th and 26th birthday.

.Chained down.

Right now, I'm buried in hours of SPSS tutorials, MANOVAs, t-tests, path models, factorial ANOVAs, and significance tests.  If those words mean anything to you, then you understand my pain.  Although, a month into data analysis, those words still mean little to me.  But I've got deadlines to make and although it's my "spring break" that also means nothing with work and if I want to successfully defend before littlest baby makes her arrival in June.

So, I leave you with this picture of my sweet Dylan during one of our much-needed outings outside and away from a computer.  That in itself sounds like a vacation; I'm tired of being chained to this darn thing.

.Recent things.

A mixture of celebrations, enjoying (cool) days at the park, drinking in the sunshine and the taste of Spring at the yogurt shoppe, hours of (dull) data analysis and long evenings spent with SPSS, social outings, and lining up odds and ends for littlest baby girl.  

I know it's a terrible practice to rush precious time, but this summer will be so welcome.  The time when the days are long, and we're sticky with river water and sun, the first time ever that I'll be able to focus entirely on my little family and be done with draining deadlines, research, and other various academic obligations.  

So until then, we'll stay as we are and savor this season because it too, is good.

P.S. That coke was not Dylan's, herego the distressed look on her face because I was ignoring her requests to open her father's sugary goodness.

.What life is all about.

 While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.

.Angela Schwindt.

She teaches me that life can be about reckless abandonment, and moving fast every day because there is so much to see, and to be friendly to everyone even if it is not returned, and that it's okay to hold back for a minute and take it all in, and that sometimes there's too much to do to be worried about hair and matching socks, but that you must always be careful of what you say and how you say it, and that keeping up with emails, and phone calls, and social networking is so gosh darn not important in the big scheme of things, and that sitting and watching others is boring compared to trying yourself, and that a meal is best tasted when shared, and who wants to wake up in a rush, but laying back and letting the sunlight break through into your windows is such a better way to start the day, and to be selective in your hugs and kisses, but when you choose to partake, give it your all, and also, to try new things gingerly, but not nervously, because eventually we'll figure out the way.

We'll figure it out some way, and if it hurts us in the process, well then we'll run to our comfort and seek solace until we're ready to try again.

.This guy.

This guy.

It's been a long run and yet I find myself always learning something new about him.  How easily we transition our roles from partners to best friends to co-parents to roomates to sweethearts.  We can dream together, and we can be responsible adults.  We can bring ourselves to tears in laughter, and we have heated discussions with no resolve.  We kiss and we bicker, and we hope and we complain, but through it all we rely on each other to get through this challenging and beautiful life together.

I am so proud of you.

I'm hard on you,

but then I miss you when you're away.

I love you like crazy.

Happy Valentine's Day my G.

.This go around.

I feel so bad.

I documented so much of my pregnancy with Dylan, and this poor baby is getting little attention.  Maybe it's because more than half of it has flown by already (how??).  Maybe it's because I'm much less neurotic this go-around.  Most likely though, it's because I'm so overwhelmed with trying to finish this doctorate, while working full-time and chasing after an adorable toddler, that I haven't even given myself a moment to process much about what's going on in my body.

We aren't completely neglecting littlest baby girl though, as we're making headway with her room and planning a small party to celebrate her addition to our family.  Still, I have a lot of to do and don't even get me started on the emotions involved in enjoying these last few months with just my sweet Dylan.

In total, I'm kind of a mess these days.  Continue to bear with me if you will.

Source: etsy.com via Jessica on Pinterest